Tag: narcolepsy blogger

Narcolepsy Awareness

2024 – The year of ‘demolish’

When setting my goals for the year I had set quite a high bar and my word for the year was ‘build’ i.e. build on the good habits that I formed in 2023. I should have put my word as ‘demolish’ instead, as to be honest that’s how 2024 has felt, uncomfortable and destructive. Whilst this is how I have felt, I know that the reason for my discomfort is because I was actually growing. Even though it really doesn’t feel like it at times. There have been a few things that have kept me feeling stuck…. I have some positives in here too but I want to paint a picture of why I was so absent on my blog and podcast.

narcolepsy-and-relationships-symptoms-sleep-disorder

Narcolepsy & Relationships

This blog has had the most edits of any blog I have ever written. It is a difficult topic to write about but mostly it just wouldn’t stop writing itself. Seriously. Online dating is the gift that keeps on giving. If I was the journalist in a Hallmark movie tasked to write about my dating experiences I would have a whole column by now. How to lose a guy in ten days? No problem to me.

Post Corporate Life – The Identity Crisis 

 It’s been a while since I wrote a blog now and I’m not sure why I couldn’t write one earlier. I suppose in terms of the timeline of the diary I didn’t really know how to format this section of life? Would anyone still want to read on or was I just going to be rambling about daily life Narcolepsy struggles that you have all heard before? It all changed when I read a book recently called ‘Everything I know about Love’ by Dolly Alderton and felt inspired to start writing again. I related so much to her book simply because I felt that our life circumstances lined up. Full of unfiltered uni stories, failed Tinder dates and all the feelings about the societal expectations on a young woman approaching 30 – it was the ideal thing for me to read. Her stories are not unique but that is where the magic lies – we have alllllll been there. I read it and felt like I was reading about my own life and to be honest, that’s the kind of reading I like now. I like to feel normal and that someone else has went through the same shit as I have. It’s not that I wish any of my experiences on anyone else, it’s just that I am now completely fascinated by the stories of other humans and shared experiences. It’s comforting to feel like I’m not alone or going crazy, that actually, to not have everything figured out is ok.  It’s perfectly normal.  

The Same But Different, Mental health image, 10 things I have learned about my mental health

The Same But Different 

The recovery from surgery was a long one and I was off work for about 2-3 months. In that time I did a lot of reflecting on what had happened to me. 

During my time off a family member was involved in an accident and before I knew it I was surrounded by the familiar sound of beeping hospital machines and a blurred sea of green fashioned as indoor décor. Instead of someone leaning over my bedside, I was leaning over theirs offering water to cope with the dryness induced by the oxygen mask. 

I met up with my boss for lunch one day and I remember going over the events of the accident. Suddenly I couldn’t tell him when I was going to return to work. It was as if the hospital visit had retraumatised me. I explained that I wasn’t ready to return to work just yet – but instead of explaining that I thought I was a bit mentally injured, I said that my physical wound hadn’t yet healed. 

A Life Update and Post-Op Journey Home

A Life Update & A Post Op Journey Home

I have found it hard to write recently. But I also don’t know how to start this part of the story so maybe a part of me has been putting it off. When I started writing this blog I thought that this was going to be a story of struggle but eventual triumph. I thought that I had life all figured out and that I was going to write a lovely ending tied up in a bow. I would have my ending of the Paradise video where the Elephant finds its tribe and loves life. What I have discovered, is that life is full of twists and turns. The goal is to be able to live a happy and fulfilled life along with the dips on the road and to recognise that they are just that, dips, and not permanent situations. I was doing really well with my Narcolepsy management but recently I have felt like I’m going backwards. I am still not over the fact that I can’t drive at the moment. It’s a helpless feeling, I know I will get there again but the path to doing so feels like Everest right now. I’m also hyper sensitive to the fact that I turn 30 this year. The feeling of expectation of where I ‘should’ be weighs heavy on my shoulders. Yes I should be grateful and comparison is the thief of joy etc etc. But all I feel is raw anger. Like I’m in a bad dream that I can’t get out of. I reflect on the years lost to sleep and I want to fill them with achievements instead. I did achieve, but not in the way I wanted.

hospital-picture-london

Waiting for Surgery & Ward Neighbours

Self-doubt really cripples my progress in writing the remainder of this saga. How long should it be? Am I skipping over important parts? Or am I including too much info on uninteresting, normal events. I am reading a book by Margaret Atwood at the moment and it took being 200 pages in for me to be interested in it simply because absolutely everything is described. But at the same time I love it because she could write a novel about a leaf and make it sound interesting. So here goes nothing…

Previously on this average story telling blog….I was just told the news that I would be having my right ovary removed. But before we dive into my anatomy, let’s talk about my ward neighbours first (all names have been changed or omitted just incase this gets popular – unlikely but just incase haha).

Finding Consistency In Chaos

Week one million (or so it feels like) of lockdown approaches. I feel like everyone is starting to get super fed up. We have all done the Joe Wicks, made the iced coffees, danced to Tik Tok dances, cleared out our drawers and done more online shopping than our finances are ok with. What’s next?I have found that I am returning to my old ways more and more – but this aint no bad thing! One example is that I bought a football. I don’t know what came over me I haven’t played with a football in years! As a child, I loved nothing more than going outside and kicking a football around. I was so happy when it arrived and once I got it blown up I was straight outside with my new purchase.