It’s been over a month now since I wrote a post like this. I have been battling to stay awake long enough to concentrate and write a blog for a long time now but I am glad to be back in the land of my rambles.
I sometimes wonder to myself why I bother to torture myself by talking about all of this. There are so many painful memories that also conjure up those feelings again. Feeling lost, feeling a failure, feeling embarrassed. I don’t know why or where this will lead by sharing this but I do know that by shaking out all the skeletons in my closet, somewhere along the line I will start moving on from this. I will always remember how I felt but I now feel like I am taking a corner. I am looking forward more than I am looking back and that has to be a good thing. I am making peace with the past – one ramble at a time.
How fast a week flies! Last Saturday I had the pleasure of being a guest on the John Toal Show on BBC Radio Ulster.After the Irish news article was released I was contacted by the shows wonderful producer to come on the show…without really thinking I accepted and before I knew it I was at BBC reception getting my pass and brought in front of the coloured mics.
I promise I will return to my story but I thought I would do a quick blog on the story published in Irish News today.After the amazing response to my Belfast Live article ahead of World Narcolepsy day, I wanted to continue raising awareness of Narcolepsy. A few people had contacted me to say that they were going to get their symptoms checked out. To me, this meant everything that my article would have an impact, no matter how small. If it helped just one person get diagnosed earlier then it would make all the difference!
Writing this blog is weird now as 1) it’s no longer anonymous and 2) it was me that outed myself haha. I just thought I would pause my story for a wee second to chat about how it came about. After posting to my personal Facebook account accidentally from my blog Instagram I went through a variety of emotions. First of all I was confused like…hmm that says my name but my blog picture is there that’s not right…then this quickly progressed to panic..oh god what was it I wrote???. Of course, this post wasn’t just a picture of a tree or a coffee or a leaf or other thrilling posts that I put together , OH NO…it was when I had an absolute disaster of a week.
It’s been a wee wile since I posted a blog but as it’s the 1st of September I have that naggin feelin to organise my life and get things sorted.What happens next is a messy puzzle..trying to put together my medical record makes my head literally hurt and also drags up a lot of feelings of frustration and mourning of a life I could have lived. It’s not really my bag to throw a pity party though so I’m gonna keep this as informative as I can for anyone beginning the process of trying to get a diagnosis. That’s the purpose of my blog and why I am here writing about my experience. I know people say this all the time but if it only helps one person then it will all have been worth it. The path to diagnosis was long and hard but I will be forever proud of myself for trusting my gut and pushing my case forward. For anyone still going through the process – hang in there partner. Alright I know I’m not Woody from Toy Story but I honestly think there’s enough plot twists in here for a series of films!