How to begin this blog… this is probably the most horrific and equallu hilarious one of the lot. Warning – you probably shouldn’t read this if you are eating. I thought about editing out some of this but honestly, that’s what happened and everyone has bodies and functions, that’s all I’m saying haha. I have split it into parts as there are many twists and turns in this tale.
It’s been over a month now since I wrote a post like this. I have been battling to stay awake long enough to concentrate and write a blog for a long time now but I am glad to be back in the land of my rambles.
I sometimes wonder to myself why I bother to torture myself by talking about all of this. There are so many painful memories that also conjure up those feelings again. Feeling lost, feeling a failure, feeling embarrassed. I don’t know why or where this will lead by sharing this but I do know that by shaking out all the skeletons in my closet, somewhere along the line I will start moving on from this. I will always remember how I felt but I now feel like I am taking a corner. I am looking forward more than I am looking back and that has to be a good thing. I am making peace with the past – one ramble at a time.
Week one million (or so it feels like) of lockdown approaches. I feel like everyone is starting to get super fed up. We have all done the Joe Wicks, made the iced coffees, danced to Tik Tok dances, cleared out our drawers and done more online shopping than our finances are ok with. What’s next?I have found that I am returning to my old ways more and more – but this aint no bad thing! One example is that I bought a football. I don’t know what came over me I haven’t played with a football in years! As a child, I loved nothing more than going outside and kicking a football around. I was so happy when it arrived and once I got it blown up I was straight outside with my new purchase.
I’m not sure how to transition into the next part of the story to be honest… it’s one of the parts of my life that’s super hard for me to revisit. Like that phrase ‘maybe you’ll look back one day and laugh’ definitely does not apply to this bit. There’s a good reason for the Irish way of coping which is lets just never ever talk about that again and shove it under the carpet. It’s because talking about things in your past is friggin hard. It’s also hard to tell the full story of what happened and keep the people involved anonymous. At the same time though, they know who they are haha.
How fast a week flies! Last Saturday I had the pleasure of being a guest on the John Toal Show on BBC Radio Ulster.After the Irish news article was released I was contacted by the shows wonderful producer to come on the show…without really thinking I accepted and before I knew it I was at BBC reception getting my pass and brought in front of the coloured mics.
I promise I will return to my story but I thought I would do a quick blog on the story published in Irish News today.After the amazing response to my Belfast Live article ahead of World Narcolepsy day, I wanted to continue raising awareness of Narcolepsy. A few people had contacted me to say that they were going to get their symptoms checked out. To me, this meant everything that my article would have an impact, no matter how small. If it helped just one person get diagnosed earlier then it would make all the difference!
Writing this blog is weird now as 1) it’s no longer anonymous and 2) it was me that outed myself haha. I just thought I would pause my story for a wee second to chat about how it came about. After posting to my personal Facebook account accidentally from my blog Instagram I went through a variety of emotions. First of all I was confused like…hmm that says my name but my blog picture is there that’s not right…then this quickly progressed to panic..oh god what was it I wrote???. Of course, this post wasn’t just a picture of a tree or a coffee or a leaf or other thrilling posts that I put together , OH NO…it was when I had an absolute disaster of a week.